Colorblind
by Kathey27
Summary: How Mark realized that all he really needed was Lexie. / Or, He'd tried to resist. He really tried. It wasn't his fault she'd come to his hotel room all…cute and flustered and saying naughty things like 'teach me'...those big, brown, doe eyes of hers…how was he supposed to resist?


**A/N: Because I was lost the moment Mark called her 'Little Grey' and actually cried when he said he'd choose Sloan over her... SLEXIE FOREVER. From 5x10 to 5x16, because if I go into seasons 6 and 7, my heart will break all over.**

**...and yes, I'm coming out of my hiatus**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, it's all Shonda's and ABC's…if it were up to me Lexie & Mark would have gotten married right after the shooting and she wouldn't have gone to Alex's bedside -_- damn it I need season 8 NOW…**

**xxxxxx**

**colorblind:**

He'd tried to resist. He really tried.

It wasn't his fault she'd come to his hotel room all…cute and flustered and saying naughty things like _'teach me'_. Those big, brown, doe eyes of hers…how was he supposed to resist?

So if it was all really evaluated, it was _not_ his fault that he was watching her undress before his very eyes and not doing a damn thing about it. It was_ not_ his fault he was kissing her senseless and enjoying it. And it was most definitely _not_his fault that he was pressing her against his bed and loving the way her breath hitched as he kissed her neck slowly and softly.

Not his fault _at all_.

xxxxxx

He _is_ **bad**. He is.

That can be the only explanation as to why he's awoken to the sight of Little Grey's naked body pressed against his own.

He will _not_ panic. He will _not._ He'll slip out slowly and casually and go to work and…yeah, that's as far as he can think right now with her perfect, soft, warm skin in contact with his.

When he finally sums up the courage to move all it does is cause her to shift closer and moan.

With one final glance to his ceiling and whatever God might be listening he allows himself to fall back asleep, sinking further into the warmth that her body gave off.

xxxxxx

He will _not_ turn around. He will _not._ He will sit with Torres and drown his sorrows in the drink at hand and _not_ think about how gorgeous she looks.

He will _not._

When they're back at his place in less than thirty minutes, all he can think about is how great she looked and how disappointed Derek would be.

xxxxxx

He does _not_ watch her sleep. He doesn't.

It is _not_ his fault he usually wakes before her and has time to spare. It is _not_ his fault that she does the strangest little nose crinkle when she's dreaming and it is _**not**_ his fault he feels like kissing said nose each time.

After he wakes her up for morning sex he almost manages to convince himself the feelings he's pushing back are _not_ those of warmth and actual, genuine affection.

Almost.

xxxxxx

When he turns down on-call room sex from the cute new blonde nurse, it's _not_ because he can see her from where he's standing and it is _not_ because of how she's smiling at her patient in that way that did _not_ send warmth through him.

It isn't.

When he's dragging her into said on-call room for a quickie and actually takes the time to watch her undress, it's _not_ because of how sexy she looks and how her dark locks hypnotize him. If he closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see hypnotizing brown instead of pasty blonde, no one can blame him.

xxxxxx

If they end up talking more than they make out, it's okay because he gets to stare at her chest. It's _not_ okay because he actually cares what she says. It's _not_.

And if he ends up doing some actual sharing in return it's only so he can get her back into bed faster.

xxxxxx

When he takes her out to lunch a week later and doesn't bother to check out the waitress it is _not_ because of how she's smiling at him and rubbing her foot against his ankle occasionally; as if it were second nature to her.

When he has to bit down on his tongue to keep from ordering for her, because he just knows her that well, it is _not_ his stomach that tightens.

When he realizes he chose the café farthest from Seattle Grace all he can feel is shame flood him because he _knows_ she deserves better.

xxxxxx

As soon as his scream penetrates the air and he's clutching his precious manhood he knows he wants to keep her.

As he watches her run out to get Torres, all flustered and panicky and absolutely ador – _**hot**_, all he can think is that he just might actually be able to love her.

When that thought has time to settle in and actually make it through as a thought in his brain through the fog of pain, he can't find it in himself to be pissed she'd _broken his penis._

But then the pain returns and said thoughts disappear.

xxxxxx

As she lies besides him, softly stroking his hair and whispering nothings into his ear, his eyes do _not_ fog up. He does _not_ love the feel of her fingers through his hair and he doesn't wish she'd kiss him.

When she does kiss him all he can do is hold her to him and try to hold down his smile.

xxxxxx

He does _not_ feel relief.

As she stands before him demanding he tell Derek, he does _not_.

He is _not_ happy that her gorgeous big brown doe eyes are big and shining and pleading for him to pick her, to love her.

And he is _**not**_ actually considering it.

xxxxxx

The second Derek's fist meets his face all his mind can register is one, clear thought: Worth it.

xxxxxx

Afterwards when she's nursing his jaw and kissing his swollen knuckles, all he can do is let the feelings rush out and the love set in and the denial leave.

He can_not_ watch as she takes care of him and rants on about it being all her fault without loving her.

So he does what he'd normally do to shut her up: he leans forward and kisses her, desperate to say all that he can't with words through touch.

When she kisses him back with equal intensity, it's all he can do to stop himself from saying those words right then and there.

He is still Mark Sloan after all; he has to keep whatever manliness he can so it is _not_ a whimper that escapes his lips as she continues to kiss him softly…

…it isn't…

…it so is.


End file.
